What to Do When You Mess Up

We all mess up sometimes, but what do we do about it? I heard from a listener this week who is struggling with self-loathing after messing up in a big way. She is having trouble getting past this big mistake and seeking help. In addition to offering prayers for this listener, I share my thoughts on 5 steps for anyone who has messed up in a big way or small way.

Snippet from the Show

“Allow God to be glorified in your need.”


5 Steps for Anyone Who Has Messed Up

  1. Own it.

    Admit what you did wrong without making excuses or explaining it away. Apologize to everyone you need to.

  2. Share it.

    You can talk to a trusted friend or counselor about it, but the most important place to share  your shame is in the sacrament of confession.
  1. Make amends.

    Do whatever you can to repair the harm you have done. It may not always be possible to fix it perfectly, but make every effort you can.
  1. Learn from it.

    Learn how to avoid the same mistake in the future. Learn to grow in humility. Learn to be more merciful with others when they mess up.
  1. Move on.

    Satan would love for you to get stuck in sorrow and regret. Once you have completed the steps above, the final and most important step is to move on and trust in God. God can accomplish great things in you and through you, despite your weaknesses.

At the end of today’s show, I share follow up feedback from Therese who recently had twin baby girls! The Catholic book about miscarriage I mention is After Miscarriage: A Catholic Woman’s Companion to Healing and Hope.

My new book, Whisper: Finding God in the Everyday, is available to order! 


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Danielle Bean

Danielle Bean is the author of many books on Catholic marriage, motherhood, and women’s spirituality, and a well-known Catholic podcaster and media figure. In all of her efforts, Danielle encourages and celebrates all women on their unique vocational paths. She is the host of the Girlfriends podcast as well as the author of Momnipotent: The Not-So-Perfect Woman’s Guide to Catholic Motherhood, Whisper: Finding God in the Everyday, and You Are Enough.

Danielle is a dynamic retreat leader and an engaging speaker on a variety of subjects related to Catholic family life, education, marriage, and motherhood. She has been married to her husband, Dan, for 26 years and together they have 8 children.

1 Comment

  1. Great Show! I have listened to this show for the last 2 years and I love it.


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