Hogging the Cashews: Why Do People Bother You?

Does it ever bother you when someone chews ice right next to you, breathes a little too loudly, or hogs all the cashews? Today you will learn how to strengthen your relationship with God by improving your relationship with other people. Become a better disciple and learn how to live and love in the midst of these everyday annoyances that can sometimes drive you crazy. Afterwards, ask yourself, “Is there someone I have a problem with that I can honor today?”



How to Become Less Bothered by Your Neighbor
  1. “Be Devoted to One Another in Brotherly Love” (Romans 12:10)
    1. Brotherly love refers to the love that exists between brothers & sisters, which speaks of family.
    2. The term “brother” is used over 230 times in the New Testament.  It means from the same womb.  Paul’s point is clear: love one another like a family.
  2. “Honor One Another Above Yourself” (Romans 12:10)
    1. Strive to make other believers look and sound good.
    2. Rejoice in others achievements and successes.
    3. It was Jesus who washed the feet of his disciples in John 13:12-17
  3. “Accept One Another, Just as Christ Accepted You.” (Romans 15:7)
    1. We should not attach “extras” when determining whether we will accept someone.
    2. Accept them as they are just at Christ accepts you.
  4. “Greet One Another” (Romans 16:3-27)
  5. “Serve One Another” (Galatians 5:13)
    1. “Serve one another humbly in love”
    2. This literally means to become a slave or a servant for another.
    3. This is why Paul told the Ephesians: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).
  6. “Bearing with One Another” (Ephesians 4:2)
    1. To “bear” means to be tole rant towards other Christians idiosyncrasies, weaknesses and faults.
    2. It is a clear command to forgive as the Lord forgave us (Colossians 3:12-14).
    3. This takes a deliberate act of the will.
  7. “Encourage One Another” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
    1. A life should be judged not on a few efforts or one failure or success, but over a life time.
    2. Jesus knew that the fulfillment of God’s plan was contingent upon our life for each other and the unity we create (John 17:20-23)


Bible Verses Mentioned in this Podcast

Matthew 5:23-24

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”


Mark 12:28-31

“One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”  “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: `Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  The second is this: `Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”


Leviticus 19:11-18

 “‘Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another. Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the Lord. Do not defraud or rob your neighbor. Do not hold back the wages of a hired worker overnight. Do not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block in front of the blind, but fear your God. I am the Lord. Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly. Do not go about spreading slander among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the Lord. Do not hate a fellow Israelite in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in their guilt. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.”


Ephesians 2:19-22

“Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord.  And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.”


Colossians 2:1-5 

“For I want you to know how greatly I strive for you, and for those at Laodicea, and for all who have not seen my face, that their hearts may be encouraged as they are knit together in love, to have all the riches of assured understanding and the knowledge of God’s mystery, of Christ, in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I say this in order that no one may delude you with beguiling speech. For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ.”


Philippians. 1:9-11

“And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruits of righteousness which come through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”


1 Corinthians 1:10 

“I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.”



Final Thoughts

What is at stake? The dynamic presence of Jesus in our lives.

Matt 18:19-20  

“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”


Your sufficiency is in Christ. Your happiness is dependent upon getting all the cashews.


We’d Love to Hear from You

Do you have comments or questions for Jeff? Use the comment box below, or email Jeff at            thejeffcavinsshow@ascensionpress.com. You may hear your question or comment in an upcoming podcast episode!


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1 Comment

  1. What if the person in question is guilty of not just heavy nasal breathing, but also slurping both food and drink and extreme flatulence? These are actually only the personal/health-related bad habits. There are others. Yet they refuse to seek medical help for these issues and refuse to even admit that slurping is rude??? This is a lot to bear! I’ve been married almost 20 years. Even a very wise old priest whom I consulted with during Confession was incredulous that my husband wouldn’t stop slurping. He didn’t think it was something I should bear-he thought my husband should simply stop if I told him to.


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