Throwback Tuesday: How to Handle Your Husband

After a special announcement, Danielle shares a throwback episode. In fact, this is one of the most popular Girlfriends episodes ever.

Do you cringe when Ephesians 5 gets read at Mass? Many people are uncomfortable with this Scripture passage which can seem politically incorrect in today’s world. Men are the heads of their wives? Wives should submit to their husbands? What on earth can this mean?

Snippet from the Show
You can’t understand the passage of Ephesians 5 outside the context of love. You can’t. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t sound right.

Special Announcement from Danielle Bean

Hey girlfriend, Danielle Bean here.

I am thrilled that I’ve recently started a new role as VP of Digital Content at Good Catholic, which is part of the larger company, Trinity Road. As I make my new home with Good Catholic, it only makes sense that the Girlfriends podcast joins me over there.

What does that mean for you? Not much! You’re still going to get new episodes of the Girlfriends podcast from me every week. You don’t need to change anything. If you listen on Spotify or on iTunes or wherever, none of that is going to change.

But starting next week, you’ll notice a fresh thumbnail, intro music, and the show notes will now be posted over at The show notes for past episodes of Girlfriends will continue to be available at 

I do want to say that I’ve been so grateful to Ascension for their support and for the privilege and it has been to be a part of their family of podcasts these past six years.

I can’t believe it’s been that long, but I am so grateful for the ways that they’ve believed in this podcast way back when we were just getting started and it was just me with a microphone locked in my bedroom, not knowing what I’m doing with my heart beating fast because I felt like I was called to do something with this podcast.

Ascension has been a huge support to me along the way with all the things that I’ve been called to do here with this podcast.

So, thank you Ascension and thank you, girlfriends. It is because of you that this mission and community is such a special place. And as this new chapter with Good Catholic begins, I can’t wait to see what the Holy Spirit has in store for us.


My new book, Whisper: Finding God in the Everyday, is available to order!

Ephesians 5:22-30

“Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are parts of His body.”

4 Ways to “Handle Our Husbands”

1. Listen to him.

I recently experienced God speaking to me very clearly through the words and guidance of my husband as I struggled to know God’s will in a difficult situation. It was such a touching and loving way to hear the voice of God and discern what he was calling me to do. God often speaks to us through the people he places in our lives and that includes your husband. Listen to him!

2. Don’t try to make things even.

Things will never come out even. Trying to make sure everything is split and shared 50/50 100% of the time will only inspire stinginess and selfishness. There is no room for that in a marriage where you are called to make a gift of yourself to another person.

3. Let him be himself.

Allow your husband to be different from you! The ways in which men and women are different is a great gift to each other and to our families. The more you allow him space and opportunity to be authentically masculine, the more you will be liberated to be your authentically feminine self.

4. Love him.

We can get so caught up in wanting to change or fix or “help” our husbands to improve, that we forget that love needs to come first. Whatever else is going on, we are called to love our husbands, and that needs to come first, without conditions and without trying to fix or change anything.


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Danielle Bean

Danielle Bean is the author of many books on Catholic marriage, motherhood, and women’s spirituality, and a well-known Catholic podcaster and media figure. In all of her efforts, Danielle encourages and celebrates all women on their unique vocational paths. She is the host of the Girlfriends podcast as well as the author of Momnipotent: The Not-So-Perfect Woman’s Guide to Catholic Motherhood, Whisper: Finding God in the Everyday, and You Are Enough.

Danielle is a dynamic retreat leader and an engaging speaker on a variety of subjects related to Catholic family life, education, marriage, and motherhood. She has been married to her husband, Dan, for 26 years and together they have 8 children.

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