Principles for Effective Discipline

In anticipation of next week’s show, when my husband Dan will be coming on to share about discipline, I thought this week I would share my own perspective on effective discipline.

At the beginning of this episode, I mention a new video series on Divine Mercy from Fr. Chris Alar!! If you don’t know much about Divine Mercy, or you want to learn more, check out this free video series here!

I also share feedback from listener Megan who listened to the first forty episodes of Girlfriends through all of Lent. Thank you, Megan! 🙂

Snippet from the Show

“What a privilege and honor that our children’s first experience of who God is is through their relationship with us [their parents].”


Here are four ideas for effective discipline I have to share – let’s see how Dan’s list compares next week when he comes on!

1. Be clear.

Set standards for your kids and expect them to meet them. Kids of all ages can know and understand standards of behavior. Give them the gift of clear communication about your standards and expectations.

2. Follow through.

This is so huge, and where I am often tempted to fail. If you set a standard and a child fails to meet that standard, there must be consequences. The consequences should be clearly communicated and non-negotiable.

3. It’s not personal.

Sometimes, we are tempted to take it personally when our kids choose to do wrong things. We wonder “How can they do this to meeeee?” Truly, though, it’s not personal. They are young and immature, and they are figuring out the world. They are going to choose wrongly sometimes, and if we react emotionally, it’s not helpful to any of us.

4. It actually is personal.

Discipline is most effective inside the context of a loving, respectful relationship. When we invest in our kids and make them feel known and loved, they will want to meet our standards and avoid disappointing us. Invest in healthy, loving relationships with your kids, and discipline will become less necessary, and more effective when you use it.

Have feedback or an idea to share? Comment below! I would love to hear from you!


My newest book, You Are Enough: What Women of the Bible Teach You About Your Mission and Worthis available for order! Use the code, GIRLFRIENDS to receive ten percent off your order. An audio version of the book is also coming soon! I can’t wait to share this book with you!

You Are Enough: What Women of the Bible Teach You about Your Mission and Worth


  • Saturday, May 11, 2019You Are Enough Retreat at Light of the World Roman Catholic Church, Littleton, CO
  • Saturday, June 1, 2019: You Are Enough Retreat, St. Michael’s Parish, Exeter, NH

Want me come to your community to speak or give my retreat, You Are Enough, based on the themes in my newest book? Get all the information here!




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