How to Forgive When It’s Hard

Is there someone you are struggling to forgive? Are you tempted to hold onto bitterness and resentment? Danielle shares ideas to help you forgive even when it’s hard.

Snippet from the Show
Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a choice.


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Forgiveness is a choice.

Forgiveness is not a feeling. Even if you don’t feel forgiveness, you still can choose to forgive. It may take many times of choosing, but it is a choice you can make, even as you pray for the grace to feel it.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was OK.

In fact, just the opposite! The fact that you need to forgive someone means that something happened that was not OK. Forgiveness is choosing to let go of bitterness, anger, and resentment. It is not signing off on bad behavior.

Bring your struggles to God.

If you are having a hard time getting over something and forgiving someone who hurt you, bring that struggle to prayer. This is not something you can do on your own! Forgiveness is a Godly thing, and you need the grace of God to do it.

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.

When we withhold mercy and cling to our feelings of anger and resentment over wrongs done to us, we are the ones who suffer. Unforgiveness eats away at us and robs us of the freedom, love, and joy God wants us to have in life. Choose to forgive … for your own sake!

Listener Question (32:06)

Danielle shares a question from listener Jennifer who wonders if she should consider wearing skirts and dresses all the time. I offer thoughts on this topic and other ones that seem to make the rounds among Catholic women from time to time. The good news is that there is no “one right way” to be a holy Catholic woman!


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Danielle Bean

Danielle Bean is the author of many books on Catholic marriage, motherhood, and women’s spirituality, and a well-known Catholic podcaster and media figure. In all of her efforts, Danielle encourages and celebrates all women on their unique vocational paths. She is the host of the Girlfriends podcast as well as the author of Momnipotent: The Not-So-Perfect Woman’s Guide to Catholic Motherhood, Whisper: Finding God in the Everyday, and You Are Enough.

Danielle is a dynamic retreat leader and an engaging speaker on a variety of subjects related to Catholic family life, education, marriage, and motherhood. She has been married to her husband, Dan, for 26 years and together they have 8 children.

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