Do you want to improve your marriage? The number one thing you can do today to improve your marriage is focus on communicating better with your spouse. This week, I’m sharing six tips for improving communication in your marriage.
6 Tips for Improving Communication with Your Spouse
- Make expectations clear.
Do not hint, do not be passive-aggressive, do not expect your spouse to read your mind. Say what you want, say what you need, say what would make you happy. Don’t assume he “should know it all” already. He needs you to talk to him!
- Assume the best intentions.
Assuming the worst about our spouse’s intentions comes from insecurity, pride, defensiveness. And it is a recipe for disaster, even in a healthy relationship.
- Recognize conflict and the role you play in it.
Conflict is not determined by person who initiates it, but by person who reacts to the initiation. It takes two to fight. Decide now that you will talk about disagreements, but you will not fight. Set ground rules for disagreements such as no name-calling, no cursing, no using the D-word (divorce), and allowing for time-outs when necessary.
- Forget about winning.
You are in a relationship. You are not in court, you are not in competitive business. If you “win,” you LOSE.
- Be an active and thoughtful listener.
Find out how your spouse feels “listened to” and make that happen, especially in important conversations.
- Put away your stupid phone.
Make sure you and your spouse have distraction-free time together every day. This is non-negotiable. Put away your phones and be together every day.
I answer a reader email about struggling with NFP in a young marriage, and encourage your feedback on all of these topics. Let’s remember to pray for “Heidi”!
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Retreat & Speaking
Some places I will be in the coming months:
Saturday, October 28
Women’s Conference in
Saturday, November 4
Together in Holiness conference in
St Augustine, FL
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