Asking a Father for the Hand of His Daughter

Asking a father for the hand of his daughter can be a nerve racking experience. Today, Jeff explains the biblical roots of asking a father for the hand of his daughter, and shares tips to ace this exciting moment in the life of a man.

Snippet from the Show

“Connection is more important than perfection.”


When you ask a father for the hand of his daughter, let him know that you will love his daughter the way Christ loves his bride the Church.


Asking a father for the hand of his daughter is a sign of tremendous respect. I encourage you to take this moment seriously and put yourself in the father’s shoes as you approach this exciting moment in your life!  In the Bible, we see a tradition of asking a father for the hand for his daughter. In ancient Israel, families were very much involved in the betrothal process of their children. We see this reflected in Isaac’s and Jacob’s stories:

Isaac & Rebecca- Genesis 24:12-21, 61-67

Jacob & Rachel – Genesis 29

I encourage you to ask for the father’s blessing because the blessing of a father is powerful and will fill your life with the abundance of the Lord. Here are seven things to keep mind when you ask a father for the hand of his daughter so you can ace it! I invite you to review these things every year on your anniversary to hold yourself accountable.

7 Tips to Ace It:

  1. Let him know that you have made the decision to marry his daughter through prayer.
  2. Let him know that you understand that marriage is a covenant and a sacrament. Make it clear that you understand you will be entering into a covenantal relationship with his daughter. 
  3. Let him know that you will be faithful to his daughter and that you will love her the way Christ loves his bride, the Church (Ephesians 5:25).
  4. Let him know that you will provide for her.
  5. Let him know you will protect her in every way.
  6. Let him know that you will be open to life and accept children as gifts from God and that you will raise them in the Catholic Church.
  7. Thank him for the gift of his daughter.

LIVE Virtual Bible Study: Unlocking the Mystery of the Bible with Jeff Cavins 

This fall, you have the opportunity to participate in a LIVE virtual Bible study with me on Wednesday nights. Starting on Wednesday, September 16th at 8PM EST, I will be presenting one of Ascension’s most popular Great Adventure Bible studies- Unlocking the Mystery of the Bible.  I will be presenting the Bible study in 8 LIVE interactive sessions on Ascension’s Facebook page. Each hour-long live session will consist of prayer, teaching, and audience engagement (Q&A). 


Get your physical workbook of Unlocking the Mystery of the Bible at here

When you purchase the workbook, you will get access to the 8 pre-recorded video sessions to watch before each live session. For a $5 discount on your workbook, use the code jeffcavinspodcast at checkout. 

Text UMBLIVE to 33-777 to receive email updates about the event.


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  • As parishes plan for the fall, Ascension is pleased to offer our new and improved online bible study programs and sacramental preparation programs digitally to help you minister with flexibility. Go to to view all our offerings!

Meet Your Host: Jeff Cavins

Jeff Cavins is passionate about helping people understand Scripture and become disciples of Jesus Christ. Though he was born Catholic, Jeff went to Bible school and served as a protestant minister for twelve years before reverting to the Catholic Faith. Jeff then received his MA in Theology from Franciscan University of Steubenville. Since then, he has become a leading Catholic evangelist and author.

Jeff created The Bible Timeline learning system, which revolutionized Catholic Bible Study for millions of Catholics. Since its introduction, Jeff has developed The Great Adventure series of Bible studies to help people better understand Sacred Scripture and its meaning for their lives. 


  1. If you had to be honest you would say that regardless of what pain & suffering your wife experiences, your going to ignore it so you can get an orgasm without sinning against God. Consequently you’ll be put under a lot of physical &/or mental strain to deal with the consequences of trying to conceive a child, having a child & raising any surviving ones & their children. You’ll do all that & learn about how good & evil you did it along the way which will force you to having to pray, bless, forgive, be patient, be kind, have affection for others, build faith, build trust, have hope for a better life after death & to eventually love one another as Christ loves us. Only God is love & men always fall short of it so don’t kid yourselves!

  2. A man doesn’t protect a woman by having sex with her & getting her pregnant.
    1. It hurts to break her hymen and it takes time not feel pain during sex waiting for it to heal.
    2. Women who become pregnant can develop mild to life threatening problems due to becoming pregnant.
    3. Women can miscarry their baby. Women can naturally abort their baby without knowing why it happened. Women can give birth to a still born child. Women can have a child who dies before they do and that’s very painful.
    4. Childbirth is very painful that’s the punishment written about in Genesis, not love.
    5. Recovering from childbirth takes a long time.
    6. Women can die because they’re unable to give birth to their child or they can’t heal from the trauma of giving birth to a child. That’s the consequences for being born of a woman & a man who ate of the fruit which was banned food.
    7. Why don’t all married women have 20-40 children? There is a very sad story behind it & it’s not a loving one.
    8. Postmenopausal women experience pain during sex because they’ve dried up & they don’t use a lubricant.
    9. Postmenopausal women don’t feel good about losing their normal female hormone levels.
    10. Men lord it over women just like it is written in Genesis. That’s punishment not love.
    Are you sure you’re telling the whole truth?


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