6 Ways to Find the Friends You Need

This week we are talking about female friendships — this is a topic I hear from women about all the time. We struggle inside of our relationships with other women. We struggle to find friends, make friends, and maintain meaningful friendships with other women. Things like jealousy and competition and cattiness can get in the way.

But God wants you to have meaningful friendships with other women! He wants you to connect with others and find support and affirmation inside of those friendships. We women need one another! We need the kind of unique support, encouragement, and affirmation we can only get from other women.

Snippet from the Show

“Connection is more important than perfection.”


Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable in friendships, God wants us to know that we are not alone.


Here are some thoughts on ways we can find those kinds of friendships in our lives:

1) Be brave.

God might be calling you to step outside your comfort zone and make the first step toward connecting with another woman in your life. If you want to have a friend, be a friend!

2) Be open.

There may be women in your life that you are not connecting with because they don;t “look” like you expect a friend to look. They might be older than you or younger than you, or have more kids or fewer kids, younger kids or older kids than you have. But we have so much to learn from one another! Be open to friendships with people who are different from you.

3) Be vulnerable.

Real connections and friendships happen when we can be open and honest and share vulnerably with one another about the things that challenge us or that we might be struggling with. You probably shouldn’t share everything with everyone but sharing your struggles with another woman in a safe way is a way that you can grow in your meaningful connections with others.

4) Notice others.

Don’t think only about yourself when it comes to friendships. Notice the needs of others and seek to meet them. Be thoughtful! Be the kind of friend you want to have in your moments of need.

5) Look to connect, not fix.

When you are reaching out and attempting to help your friends, be careful to recognize that sometimes they might share a problem with you so that you might offer sympathy and understanding. Don;t go around telling everyone what to do or prescribing advice, unless they ask you for it.

6) Pray!
Do you pray for the kinds of friendships you are seeking? God wants to give you good things, and other people who you can share your life with, who can support and encourage you, are a beautiful gift he wants for you. Pray about it! Also, don’t forget to pray for and with your friends too.

This week, I also share some feedback and a question from listener Melissa who is wondering about the appropriateness of taking on some new “adventure” in her life as a mom.

I also share about the Catholic Moms Summit, a HUGE and unique online event I am hosting that will be taking place November 13-15. We have over 60 amazing presenters that will be sharing inspirational and practical talks about ways to find peace, balance, and joy in family living. Registration is free, so head on over and make sure you are a part of this event!

My newest book is one that I wrote with Dan, the Manual for Marriage, a beautiful resource for every couple. In it, Dan and I share reflective essays on marriage and family life, but it also features a large collection of prayers, Scripture passages, hymns, and stories from the saints that will encourage and support you in your married relationship.  

I have received so much feedback from all of you about my newest book and the first chapter that I shared with you at the end of episode 210Giving Thanks and Letting Go: Reflections on the Gift of Motherhood is a book in which I share from my heart about the very real changes, challenges, triumphs, and joys of being a mom in an “emptying nest.” You can read that sample chapter at Ave Maria Press. (Use the coupon code BEAN20 to get 20% off your order!)

My book, You Are Enough: What Women of the Bible Teach You About Your Mission and Worth, is available for order! Use the code, GIRLFRIENDS to receive ten percent off your order. Don’t miss out on this special available exclusively to listeners of the Girlfriends podcast. 

Have feedback or an idea to share? I would love to hear from you!


Join our all-new Girlfriends Podcast Facebook group!

Check out the Catholic Momcast featuring Lisa Hendey and me, available on iTunes!


Fulfilled: Uncovering the Biblical Foundations of Catholicism


The You’re Worth It! Retreat for Women

Find out more about bringing this unique event for women to your parish, group, or community. Read more and request more information here.

Or find out more about having me come speak at your parish or conference.


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Danielle Bean

Danielle Bean is the author of many books on Catholic marriage, motherhood, and women’s spirituality, and a well-known Catholic podcaster and media figure. In all of her efforts, Danielle encourages and celebrates all women on their unique vocational paths. She is the host of the Girlfriends podcast as well as the author of Momnipotent: The Not-So-Perfect Woman’s Guide to Catholic Motherhood, Whisper: Finding God in the Everyday, and You Are Enough.

Danielle is a dynamic retreat leader and an engaging speaker on a variety of subjects related to Catholic family life, education, marriage, and motherhood. She has been married to her husband, Dan, for 26 years and together they have 8 children.

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