5 Skills to Work on Now, If You Want to Get Married Later

This week I am sharing 5 skills I think every young person should work on now, if they want to get married later. These are skills that will be helpful to you no matter what vocation you are called to, but I think especially to those who are planning to be married and have families.


Your worth does not come from being in a relationship or being married, and your “real life” does not begin at some point in the future.


  1. Establish a habit of daily prayer

It is so important to lay the foundation of your relationship with God during the years before you are married. You are made for God. Spend the time you can now, fully invested in daily prayer, and you will have that as a firm foundation for the future challenges God might call you to.

  1. Learn some family skills

Do you know of any young families that you could befriend or hang out with? So far beyond learning how to change a diaper or buckle a car seat (though those are helpful skills as well!) it’s helpful to know what normal family life looks like — the good and the bad — so you can have realistic expectations for your own married life.

  1. Learn to like yourself

Don’t live in the future! Live right now. Try new things, learn new skills, find out what you are good at and work on learning to like yourself for who you are right now. Your worth does not come from being in a relationship or being married, and your “real life” does not begin at some point in the future. Real life is happening right now. Learn to know and like yourself as you are, right now.

  1. Practice humility

A big part of what I have learned through family living all these years is that I am not in charge of things. I have needed to let go of the notion that I can just “do all the right things” and everything will turn out the way I want it to. It has been a humbling experience, and I really recommend learning greater humility before entering into marriage and family life as a way to spare yourself some unnecessary grief along the way.

  1. Give up keeping score

It’s human nature to want things to be “fair” and for everything to work out even. But it’s also human nature to notice and “count” our own contributions much more than other people’s. Learn to give without counting the cost, to love without calculating, and that virtue of generosity will help you find greater happiness in your future vocation. 

In this show, I also share about The Word, the upcoming Catholic Bible Summit.

It’s free to register and you will get access to dozens of talks on Scripture from exceptional catholic speakers. My talk will be about family prayer time and ways to make it happen in your home and family. Please join us!

My newest book is one that I wrote with Dan, the Manual for Marriage, a beautiful resource for every couple. In it, Dan and I share reflective essays on marriage and family life, but it also features a large collection of prayers, Scripture passages, hymns, and stories from the saints that will encourage and support you in your married relationship.  

I have received so much feedback from all of you about my newest book and the first chapter that I shared with you at the end of episode 210Giving Thanks and Letting Go: Reflections on the Gift of Motherhood is a book in which I share from my heart about the very real changes, challenges, triumphs, and joys of being a mom in an “emptying nest.” You can read that sample chapter at Ave Maria Press. (Use the coupon code BEAN20 to get 20% off your order!)

My book, You Are Enough: What Women of the Bible Teach You About Your Mission and Worth, is available for order! Use the code, GIRLFRIENDS to receive ten percent off your order. Don’t miss out on this special available exclusively to listeners of the Girlfriends podcast. 

Have feedback or an idea to share? I would love to hear from you!


Join our Girlfriends Podcast Facebook group!

Check out the Catholic Momcast featuring Lisa Hendey and me, available on iTunes!


The You’re Worth It! Retreat for Women

Find out more about bringing this unique event for women to your parish, group, or community. Read more and request more information here.

Or find out more about having me come speak at your parish or conference.


Email Danielle Bean

Rate and Review Girlfriends in iTunes

Leave voice feedback

Girlfriends on Facebook

Danielle Bean on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Voxer

Danielle Bean

Danielle Bean is the author of many books on Catholic marriage, motherhood, and women’s spirituality, and a well-known Catholic podcaster and media figure. In all of her efforts, Danielle encourages and celebrates all women on their unique vocational paths. She is the host of the Girlfriends podcast as well as the author of Momnipotent: The Not-So-Perfect Woman’s Guide to Catholic Motherhood, Whisper: Finding God in the Everyday, and You Are Enough.

Danielle is a dynamic retreat leader and an engaging speaker on a variety of subjects related to Catholic family life, education, marriage, and motherhood. She has been married to her husband, Dan, for 26 years and together they have 8 children.

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Discover More!

Sign up for the latest podcasts, videos, and articles, sent straight to your inbox.