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3 Tips for Building Healthy Relationships from Fr. Mike Schmitz

by The Ascension Team | Aug 2, 2023 | Ascension Articles | 0 comments

Relationships can be hard work. In this video, Fr. Mike offers 3 pieces of wisdom for those looking to cultivate healthy relationships.


1. There are some things that only time can reveal 

Fr. Mike says, “Time is absolutely essential for a relationship.”

He explains that even if you talk frequently and have wonderful communication with your significant other, the things you discuss within the first 6 months of dating are very different from those things you talk about at 16 months.

Fr. Mike argues that you can only reach a certain depth of a relationship with the gift of time. He holds that his first tip is to slow down. Take your time, and enjoy getting to know one another.

2. Allow your relationship to be the age that it actually is

For his second tip, Fr. Mike shares how he meets couples who “know” they will get married after only two months of dating. He warns us not to skip ahead in relationships.

He says, “If you’re in a six-month relationship, let your relationship be six months old.”

This is important because if you allow the relationship to progress at the right pace, you deal with potential issues and difficulties as they arise naturally.

“There’s something good about letting it be the fourth date,” Fr. Mike says.

Don’t wave potential problems away just because you think you’ll get married. The issues will only come back, and you won’t be equipped to address them.

Fr. Mike advises couples to treat their relationships the age they truly are rather than the age they wish they were. 

3. Learn how to make decisions together 

For his final tip, Fr. Mike says, “One of the greatest skills that couples can work on with each other is learning how to solve problems.”

He says this advice differs from the previous two tips because it involves developing a skill.

Every relationship is bound to meet some obstacles and roadblocks. Regardless of the type of relationship, problem-solving will always help it grow and move forward smoothly.

Because everyone makes decisions differently, Fr. Mike says learning how to solve problems together is fundamental to a healthy relationship.

Watch the full video below!

Was this video helpful? Would you like more from Fr. Mike Schmitz? Please be sure to subscribe to our Ascension Presents YouTube channel for all new content!


Starting October 2, 2023, join Fr. Gregory Pine, O.P. and Fr. Jacob Bertrand Janczyk, O.P. as they read and explain The Confessions of St. Augustine on the Catholic Classics podcast.

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